Have you ever wondered why it is that God does not make us do the things that we should do, especially when it is a good thing and we keep asking Him to do it? Okay, so what am I talking about? For many years, I've begged God to get me up early in the morning so that I could study His Word. I wanted to be a "good Christian girl." In my limited understanding, I thought that if you got up earlier in the morning to study your Bible, then you were doing it right. Then, in my "enlightenment", I discovered that I could talk to God at any time of day and He would still be there. This was the first step in realizing that there was not necessarily a formula for being a good Christian, but something was still missing.
Some days, I would get around to my Bible time if it fit in with everything else that I was doing, but at other times, it just didn't happen. Not bad for one day, but then it was two, three, four...you get the picture. Have you ever been there too? Please tell me that I'm not the only one that falls into that trap. Then I try to make up for it by getting up early in the morning. This one usually fails quickly because as I so proudly exclaim, "I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!"
I begged and begged to be changed to a "normal" person so that I did not want to stay up all night. I tried everything I could think of, but nothing would work. Then I prayed and prayed that God would help me go to sleep at night and wake up before the sun so that I could spend time with Him before my family arose. On the rare occasions that it actually happened, I would usually be in such a sour mood that everyone around me, myself included, would wish that I had not gotten up.
Again, I felt trapped. Why couldn't I get this thing figured out? I just wanted to do what was right, but no one would help me. Slowly, God began to work on me. First, was my dear mentor, Joyce Meyer. Of course, this would be the time that she preaches on the man by the pool of Bethesda who lay there for 38 years and could never get healed. She gave such a vivid representation of the man and all his excuses. I began to think about the excuses that I make on a daily basis and wondered how many of them were really legitimate, and how many I could actually make at least some little improvement on. Then she goes and lays down on the floor and demonstrates how inch by inch in 38 years you can make progress. This really started pulling at my heart.
Finally, in frustration, I just cried out to God and asked Him why He would not wake me up in the morning and help me get out of bed to spend time with Him. I explained to Him that He should know by now since He was the One who made me this way that I am NOT, NOT, NOT a morning person; so why can't He just show me some grace and wake me up in the morning like He used to do when I first started studying His Word.
His response to me was both humbling and endearing. He told, "My sweet daughter, I want you to spend time with Me because you love me and choose to spend time with Me. Just as it it more special for you when your children want to spend time with you instead of when you force them, I want you to choose Me. But, I also want you to know that whatever you decide, I still love you."
This was the first time in my life that I ever realized that I did not have to perform in any way to gain His love. Whether I am perfect, or perfectly horrible, I am still His daughter and He will love me. The choices that I make will just determine my peace and my happiness.
Today, I chose Him. It was not an easy thing to do. I could not sleep well last night, so instead of tossing and turning. I chose to get up and spend time with Him. Sleep may come later, but for now I am content knowing that I chose to start my day with my Father.
Enjoy listening as you think about your choices today.
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